Dating life, is not it!
Updated: Aug 4
Getting back to the dating world after a long relationship is tough! When I was in a relationship, I would hear how bad the dating world has gotten and how hard it is to find and make genuine connections, and now that I'm in this very world, I SEE WHAT YOU GUYS MEAN! Dating after being in a relationship is a process of relearning yourself and unlearning habits you learned in your past relationship that won't be okay in a new relationship. Sometimes we think we are done healing, and some things happen while you're dating someone that triggers you and makes you react a certain way because you didn't even know you could be triggered until it happened.
I remember a time when I used to date online before having a child, and it was so much fun getting to meet new people, going on different adventures, and experiencing different personalities.
Now, I despise online dating. Not only is it already scary meeting someone you don't know who can possibly be a catfish and can possibly rape and kidnap you for sex trafficking, but it's also just so time-consuming and constant meaningless conversations. Then it's like if you want to meet someone in person, that requires you to go out more, and I don't go out enough to physically meet someone in person, and that's what I genuinely want. Something about a connection happening instantly when you meet someone for the first time randomly in the streets hits differently. Call me a hopeless romantic, but Heavenly Father, please let me run into my future husband at the grocery store, church, the gym, somewhere! Cause before these dating sites, that's where people were finding their soul mates.
The getting-to-know-someone stage takes a lot of patience because you genuinely don't really know someone overnight. It can be ten years down the line, and you're still getting to know something new about someone. One thing that makes dating life so difficult is that you will find someone you make an instant connection with, and everything is great at first, then 3-4 weeks down the line, you start seeing red flags and don't ignore those red flags. Don't think they are minor enough to overlook. Believe in those red flags from early on.
Then dating as a single parent doesn’t make the process any easier. We tend to be harder on ourselves when it comes to dating and our selection process because we have to choose someone who is not only suitable for us but for our kids too.
Dating is the first step to finding someone you connect with on all levels, to then be in a relationship with and potentially/ultimately marry one day. So why is it that finding those genuine connections so difficult? You have men complaining about the options of women they have to choose from to marry, and then you have women complaining about the options of men out there to choose from to potentially be their husbands. If most of us are all trying to find our person, why is it so hard? (Comment below)
Feels like dating is a constant trial run. Seeing what you like, don't like, love, and absolutely hate—but also realizing what you as an individual, and the things we need to continue working on within ourselves and where we lack. Maybe these trials and errors prepare us for our future husbands/wives, and we must be patient.
"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."
Anyways, the best we can all do is pray to God to lead us to the man/woman he created for us. There's someone for everyone, and we must continue being patient because it doesn't always turn out well when we rush into anything or lose focus on what God has planned for us.
"If You Keep Waiting on the Lord for a Godly Spouse, You Will Avoid the Pain that Always Comes When You Take Matters Into Your Own Hands"